Boss eyed dog... or somethin'
About 18 months ago Alnamite was sat in the optician's chair undergoing a run of the mill eye examination.
"Has one of your pupils always been larger than the other?"
'Er, no. What?!'
He peers in the mirror and is taken aback when he notices that his right pupil is nearly twice as big as his left, this gives him a rather sui generis appearance. Imagine the pupils as vehicle wheels. It's like a piston hissing, engine smelling, double decker bus wheel juxtaposed with a child's BMX wheel. I do think it looks rather cute, although some people may misconstrue it as the eyemarks of a deranged individual who possibly shouldn't have contact with anyone under the age of 16.
This is a self inflicted, drug induced ailment and so it's difficult not to snigger a little bit *heh*. I honestly don't think his indulgences were excessive and believe the mutation occurred from a daring, yet foolish, toxic concoction of substances that formed some sort of eye paggering chemical and this is what did the damage, rather than the volume of his drug intake being too high. It might just be from when he got slaughtered every night at the Oxford union bar and kept checking out his South African barman friend, Chris, so much so that his pupil got all strained by the eye popping, sensual emotions that surged through his body every time Chris whispered the words, “Ally me pally wally KY jelly."
Us two, Cee MDMF, and ****** were waiting at the bus stop when Alnamite revealed this information to the others. There was a period of, and perhaps this was cruel, laughter fits quickly proceeded by Cee MDMF shouting, "Shit, you look mental!" Everyone started pissing themselves even more, especially because of the manner in which it was uttered. I felt sorry for my future flat mate, yet made a candid comment stating that I believed he looked like an elderly teddy bear. At some point in the past one of the teddy's eyes had fallen off and a new, incongruous, much bigger eye had been sown on as a replacement. It makes you feel sad for the bear and love him more.
Granted, maybe it wasn't the most comforting comparison to ease his sore mind; it made me feel empathy and also guilt for laughing. When the same girl then said, "You look like a boss eyed dog, or somethin'" the immense creasing began again and I forgot how he felt.............................laughter is a great cure.
"Has one of your pupils always been larger than the other?"
'Er, no. What?!'
He peers in the mirror and is taken aback when he notices that his right pupil is nearly twice as big as his left, this gives him a rather sui generis appearance. Imagine the pupils as vehicle wheels. It's like a piston hissing, engine smelling, double decker bus wheel juxtaposed with a child's BMX wheel. I do think it looks rather cute, although some people may misconstrue it as the eyemarks of a deranged individual who possibly shouldn't have contact with anyone under the age of 16.
This is a self inflicted, drug induced ailment and so it's difficult not to snigger a little bit *heh*. I honestly don't think his indulgences were excessive and believe the mutation occurred from a daring, yet foolish, toxic concoction of substances that formed some sort of eye paggering chemical and this is what did the damage, rather than the volume of his drug intake being too high. It might just be from when he got slaughtered every night at the Oxford union bar and kept checking out his South African barman friend, Chris, so much so that his pupil got all strained by the eye popping, sensual emotions that surged through his body every time Chris whispered the words, “Ally me pally wally KY jelly."
Us two, Cee MDMF, and ****** were waiting at the bus stop when Alnamite revealed this information to the others. There was a period of, and perhaps this was cruel, laughter fits quickly proceeded by Cee MDMF shouting, "Shit, you look mental!" Everyone started pissing themselves even more, especially because of the manner in which it was uttered. I felt sorry for my future flat mate, yet made a candid comment stating that I believed he looked like an elderly teddy bear. At some point in the past one of the teddy's eyes had fallen off and a new, incongruous, much bigger eye had been sown on as a replacement. It makes you feel sad for the bear and love him more.
Granted, maybe it wasn't the most comforting comparison to ease his sore mind; it made me feel empathy and also guilt for laughing. When the same girl then said, "You look like a boss eyed dog, or somethin'" the immense creasing began again and I forgot how he felt.............................laughter is a great cure.
posted by Swedophilia at 2:25 AM
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